Let me illustrate with a story that just happened to me. I decided to take my three kids to the Olympic Forest Park by subway. So we didn’t go the most efficient route and we spent longer traveling than at the park. But that’s another story. As we got on the first subway train, the seats were all taken but I was fine standing with Joshua (3) for just a few stops. Still, a lady got up to give Joshua her seat, and before I even realized that she had, a young man sat down in the seat, apparently to be next to his girlfriend. The woman started berating him, gently but firmly, but he just stared at her and didn’t budge.
I was shocked and honestly speechless trying to process it. I felt so bad for this woman and regret that I didn’t yell at him myself or get out my camera and ask him again. Sure you can’t force people to give up their seat but to take someone else’s that they were giving up for a child is beyond disgraceful.
I tell this story to show an example of someone kind and thoughtful and someone who is a complete jerk. And they are both Chinese. In fact, by the time she’d given up and stood by the door, some other men gave up their seats for all of us. And for the rest of our journey on all but one train people moved for us.
Their father said he would have basically beat the guy up if he had been there. I said you can't do that or you will make yourself more of an ass than he was. And in fact there was a newspaper article a few days later about a man who did just that and was arrested. And in fact, public opinion was in favor of the man who didn't give up his seat for a woman with an infant (he had a health reason apparently). Yes, you can't make people, but communicate people and be courteous when you can.
At work, when breakfast is delivered (yes we get meals of sorts delivered), there are what I call vultures just waiting to take most of it and certainly the best of it. There can be such a culture of me first here that at times I want to slug people myself. But then others of my immediate colleagues will themselves haul some food away and offer me some. They don't like this behavior either.
